In the Land of Ugly Sunglasses

Oh springtime and the birds are chirping and the sun is shinning and all around the world people are protecting their eyes with the ugliest eyewear they can find. It is no longer a bad thing to wear shades that harken back to Elton John's sequin days. We actually want to know again who that is behind those ray bans. If they look like they once belonged to your grandmother then your status is secure. The universe is all topsy turvy and bad is good and ugly is pretty and everything old is all of the sudden new, as though it never was once before. I'm just waiting for monocles and eye patches to be the next big thing. Wait! I got it. I'm going to head over to the nearest opthomoligist and pick up a paur of those disposable box shaped glasses they give you after you get your pupils dilated. Behold! I will be wearing the crown jewel of ugliness. All others bow to my greatness.